Feb 12, 2020

Love Yourself

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←Older revision Revision as of 03:13, 13 February 2020
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== Steps ==
 
== Steps ==
 
===Improving Your Inner Voice===
 
===Improving Your Inner Voice===
#Overcome negative beliefs about yourself.  Many people have trouble letting go of negative thoughts that they have about themselves.  These negative thoughts often come from outside people whose opinion we value and from whom we seek love and acceptance.<ref>http://www.cognitivetherapyguide.org/negative-thinking-patterns.htm</ref>[[Image:Love Yourself Step 1 Version 3.jpg|center]]
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#Overcome negative beliefs about yourself.  Many people have trouble letting go of negative thoughts that they have about themselves.  These negative thoughts often come from outside people whose opinion we value and from whom we seek love and acceptance.<ref>https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-s-mental-health-matters/201509/7-ways-deal-negative-thoughts</ref>[[Image:Love Yourself Step 1 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 
#Avoid perfectionism.  Some people have trouble accepting anything less than perfection from themselves. <ref> http://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html</ref>  If you find yourself pursuing perfectionism and feeling negatively about yourself when you are less than perfect, take three simple steps.  Stop your current line of thinking, then focus on the effort that will be required to work towards a goal, then steadily apply the required effort.<ref>http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/happiness-exercise-how-overcome-perfectionism</ref>[[Image:Love Yourself Step 2 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 
#Avoid perfectionism.  Some people have trouble accepting anything less than perfection from themselves. <ref> http://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html</ref>  If you find yourself pursuing perfectionism and feeling negatively about yourself when you are less than perfect, take three simple steps.  Stop your current line of thinking, then focus on the effort that will be required to work towards a goal, then steadily apply the required effort.<ref>http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/happiness-exercise-how-overcome-perfectionism</ref>[[Image:Love Yourself Step 2 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 
#*Changing your focus from a final product (which may be evaluated in terms of "perfection") to the effort behind a task (which is harder to quantify as "perfect") can help you appreciate your own good work.  
 
#*Changing your focus from a final product (which may be evaluated in terms of "perfection") to the effort behind a task (which is harder to quantify as "perfect") can help you appreciate your own good work.  
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#*Saying “I am so stupid” is also likely untrue and reductive.  If you feel stupid, it’s more likely that you have a lack of knowledge about something.  Instead, think, “I don’t know how to do this basic home maintenance.  Perhaps I could take a class and learn to do this in the future.”   
 
#*Saying “I am so stupid” is also likely untrue and reductive.  If you feel stupid, it’s more likely that you have a lack of knowledge about something.  Instead, think, “I don’t know how to do this basic home maintenance.  Perhaps I could take a class and learn to do this in the future.”   
 
#Do not assume that the worst can happen. It can be easy to fall into the assumption that the very worst outcome will happen with every situation. <ref> http://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html</ref>  However, changing your inner thoughts to be realistic or truthful can help you avoid the generalization or exaggeration that accompanies assuming the worst.[[Image:Love Yourself Step 5 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 
#Do not assume that the worst can happen. It can be easy to fall into the assumption that the very worst outcome will happen with every situation. <ref> http://cmhc.utexas.edu/selfesteem.html</ref>  However, changing your inner thoughts to be realistic or truthful can help you avoid the generalization or exaggeration that accompanies assuming the worst.[[Image:Love Yourself Step 5 Version 3.jpg|center]]
#Rewrite your internal script.  When you realize that you are thinking negatively for yourself, acknowledge the feeling, identify the source of the feeling, and then consciously make a new statement re-writing your thought as a more positive one.<ref>http://www.cognitivetherapyguide.org/thought-records.htm</ref>[[Image:Love Yourself Step 6 Version 3.jpg|center]]
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#Rewrite your internal script.  When you realize that you are thinking negatively for yourself, acknowledge the feeling, identify the source of the feeling, and then consciously make a new statement re-writing your thought as a more positive one.<ref>https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/stress-management/in-depth/positive-thinking/art-20043950</ref>[[Image:Love Yourself Step 6 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 
#*For example, if you forgot to send an important work-related email, you may find yourself thinking “I am so stupid! How could I have done that?”  
 
#*For example, if you forgot to send an important work-related email, you may find yourself thinking “I am so stupid! How could I have done that?”  
 
#*Stop yourself, and think “I feel stupid right now because I forgot to send the email.  When I would forget to do things as a child, my father would tell me that I was stupid.  These are his words, not my own, in my head.”  Then think to yourself, “I am a competent employee who made a human mistake, and I will be sure to write myself a reminder in the future.  For now, I will send the email along with an apology for not sending it before.”
 
#*Stop yourself, and think “I feel stupid right now because I forgot to send the email.  When I would forget to do things as a child, my father would tell me that I was stupid.  These are his words, not my own, in my head.”  Then think to yourself, “I am a competent employee who made a human mistake, and I will be sure to write myself a reminder in the future.  For now, I will send the email along with an apology for not sending it before.”
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#*Decide how you will deal with negative thoughts you do have.  You may need to give yourself a time-out to meditate or breathe.  Acknowledge your feelings and reframe your negative reaction with positive reminders of your self-worth.
 
#*Decide how you will deal with negative thoughts you do have.  You may need to give yourself a time-out to meditate or breathe.  Acknowledge your feelings and reframe your negative reaction with positive reminders of your self-worth.
 
#Visit a therapist.  Exploring negative thoughts and identifying triggers for your emotions can bring up feelings or memories from your past that are difficult to deal with. <ref> http://psychcentral.com/lib/self-esteem-struggles-and-strategies-that-can-help/0006320</ref>[[Image:Love Yourself Step 11 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 
#Visit a therapist.  Exploring negative thoughts and identifying triggers for your emotions can bring up feelings or memories from your past that are difficult to deal with. <ref> http://psychcentral.com/lib/self-esteem-struggles-and-strategies-that-can-help/0006320</ref>[[Image:Love Yourself Step 11 Version 3.jpg|center]]
#*A therapist who is experienced with addressing painful pasts can help you navigate through the experience of recovery without causing you to relive painful experiences.<ref>http://www.nj-act.org/self.html</ref>
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#*A therapist who is experienced with addressing painful pasts can help you navigate through the experience of recovery without causing you to relive painful experiences.<ref>https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/four-steps-to-erasing-trauma-of-painful-memories-061214</ref>
 
#*A therapist’s office can be a great place to learn to handle your negative thoughts productively and realize your positive qualities.
 
#*A therapist’s office can be a great place to learn to handle your negative thoughts productively and realize your positive qualities.
 
#Repeat positive affirmations daily.  Find some positive thoughts that help you feel better, and repeat them daily.  This may seem awkward or cheesy at first, but the habit will cause the positive thoughts to sink in, and you will begin to believe them, even if you don’t at first.[[Image:Love Yourself Step 12 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 
#Repeat positive affirmations daily.  Find some positive thoughts that help you feel better, and repeat them daily.  This may seem awkward or cheesy at first, but the habit will cause the positive thoughts to sink in, and you will begin to believe them, even if you don’t at first.[[Image:Love Yourself Step 12 Version 3.jpg|center]]


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