Mar 24, 2020

Be Happy in an Unhappy Marriage

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#Talk about strengths and difficulties. It is important to acknowledge what is going well in your relationship as well as what has become a struggle. You might even want to make a list of strengths and difficulties together. Make sure that you include things on the list that you avoid talking about because of fears that you will just end up fighting about them.<ref> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201303/marriage-problems-heres-8-step-rescue-plan</ref>[[Image:Be Happy in an Unhappy Marriage Step 9.jpg|center]]
 
#Talk about strengths and difficulties. It is important to acknowledge what is going well in your relationship as well as what has become a struggle. You might even want to make a list of strengths and difficulties together. Make sure that you include things on the list that you avoid talking about because of fears that you will just end up fighting about them.<ref> https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201303/marriage-problems-heres-8-step-rescue-plan</ref>[[Image:Be Happy in an Unhappy Marriage Step 9.jpg|center]]
 
#*Try to pick a time to talk about your strengths and difficulties when you are both feeling calm and focused. Avoid talking at the end of a long day or at other stressful times.<ref>https://ift.tt/1SzSX9Y </ref>
 
#*Try to pick a time to talk about your strengths and difficulties when you are both feeling calm and focused. Avoid talking at the end of a long day or at other stressful times.<ref>https://ift.tt/1SzSX9Y </ref>
#* Use "I" statements rather than "You" statements. In other words, try to talk about what you're feeling and what you think is wrong without blaming the other person. For instance, saying "I get upset when we don't spend enough time together" is better than "You're never around." The second statement puts your spouse on guard, while the first helps open discussion.<ref>https://ift.tt/2xk5MH8>
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#* Use "I" statements rather than "You" statements. In other words, try to talk about what you're feeling and what you think is wrong without blaming the other person. For instance, saying "I get upset when we don't spend enough time together" is better than "You're never around." The second statement puts your spouse on guard, while the first helps open discussion.
 
#* Spend time talking and listening. That is, you can't just lay out what you think is wrong. You also need to spend time actively listening to what your spouse has to say. Show you're engaged by offering short summaries of what he or she has said and by asking questions that are relevant to the conversation.<ref>https://ift.tt/2NgHrYD>
 
#* Spend time talking and listening. That is, you can't just lay out what you think is wrong. You also need to spend time actively listening to what your spouse has to say. Show you're engaged by offering short summaries of what he or she has said and by asking questions that are relevant to the conversation.<ref>https://ift.tt/2NgHrYD>
 
#Work out solutions. Once you've figured out together what issues you have in the marriage, it's time to try to come up with some solutions. You may even be able to draw on some of your strengths to help you develop solutions to problems in your relationships.[[Image:Be Happy in an Unhappy Marriage Step 10 Version 3.jpg|center]]
 
#Work out solutions. Once you've figured out together what issues you have in the marriage, it's time to try to come up with some solutions. You may even be able to draw on some of your strengths to help you develop solutions to problems in your relationships.[[Image:Be Happy in an Unhappy Marriage Step 10 Version 3.jpg|center]]


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